.....cafe?

M: making iced coffee drinks like I'm a star bucks. I used a blender and everything #badass 

J: let's open up a cafe and forget about the world. 

Why oh why didn't we put this plan into action years ago. What do we love? Coffee. When do we love it? Always. Cheers to the caffeinated life. 

Living the life ....kind of

Text between M and J:

M: So here's the scoop I'm not fit for public....I'm also day tipsy and watching Disney. So rain check on chicken

It's hard being this awesome.

Zorked

Hello readers....this is the lake house edition...


" awkward goose sex"

" that sounded consensual"

" call me the captain....I'm a motor boating biotch"


"You're a ball pad"

" stop being a shard"

" you're a tardis"

" wine soaked marshmallows...good. Marshmallow in wine...not good"

" I'm sun confused"

" crunchy wheaties....that's what she said"

" oh honey you're the Oatie one I need"

" that carp did not seize the day......uh I think that's a catfish"

" you just got zorked"

The Dirty Sanchez

Hello dear readers. We are so sorry for the severe lack of posting lately. We seemed to have hit a very NON-funny period in school. But never fear, we are back and hysterical as ever. Today's episode is a series of quotes to get us back into the swing of things.




M: Dr. Who is ruining my life. I just lay in bed and cry. Its vampire diaries all over again

M: Tina Fey drives through Youngstown Ohio.....
( everyone else continues speaking as if that comment didnt happen)


J: Look at that Arby's. Is that the first Arby's?
M: It looks like Arby's Arby's.
J  and B( blank looks)
M: The man Arby its his Arby's.
J and B: ( silence)
M: I mean its so old its like its his personal Arby's.
B: yea another one has that same sign....


Hey remember that one time when we went into Skyline and said we had a party of ten....ordered drinks and made a big scene getting situated....then had to leave???
-yea the whole west side remembers that one.

Finga pappit

Where did you get your hair cut?

The king's chamba

Forever Alone...

Today's Episode features the one and only J:

Upon driving home last night this is the conversation we had...about relationships


M: you need to find someone needy like a child...

J: Um no...that's not going to work. I'd be annoyed as F**K

M: Ok, then you need someone as independent as you are

J: I want someone to take care of me...I just don't know how to let them...

( Dramatic Pause)

J : Beneath this icy exterior, there is a closeted romantic.




( Just Kidding, J)

" im getting all three stooges up in here"

Tonight's episode:  I don't have any funny quotes from the evening...because the entire situation was hysterical/scary.  J and I decided it would be a good idea to visit the scariest dollar store in within the city limits. For starters it looked like it was ransacked...then we  quickly grabbed the few items that I was too cheap to buy at a regular grocery store and we booked it. Upon leaving this store, a maniac in a  silver car played chicken with us for a parking spot. J responded to this by screaming and proclaiming that it was grocery store or bust from now on for the much needed ice cream runs.


Moral of the story....if you go to a dollar store....you get what you pay for.  We survived.