.....cafe?

M: making iced coffee drinks like I'm a star bucks. I used a blender and everything #badass 

J: let's open up a cafe and forget about the world. 

Why oh why didn't we put this plan into action years ago. What do we love? Coffee. When do we love it? Always. Cheers to the caffeinated life. 

Living the life ....kind of

Text between M and J:

M: So here's the scoop I'm not fit for public....I'm also day tipsy and watching Disney. So rain check on chicken

It's hard being this awesome.

Zorked

Hello readers....this is the lake house edition...


" awkward goose sex"

" that sounded consensual"

" call me the captain....I'm a motor boating biotch"


"You're a ball pad"

" stop being a shard"

" you're a tardis"

" wine soaked marshmallows...good. Marshmallow in wine...not good"

" I'm sun confused"

" crunchy wheaties....that's what she said"

" oh honey you're the Oatie one I need"

" that carp did not seize the day......uh I think that's a catfish"

" you just got zorked"

The Dirty Sanchez

Hello dear readers. We are so sorry for the severe lack of posting lately. We seemed to have hit a very NON-funny period in school. But never fear, we are back and hysterical as ever. Today's episode is a series of quotes to get us back into the swing of things.




M: Dr. Who is ruining my life. I just lay in bed and cry. Its vampire diaries all over again

M: Tina Fey drives through Youngstown Ohio.....
( everyone else continues speaking as if that comment didnt happen)


J: Look at that Arby's. Is that the first Arby's?
M: It looks like Arby's Arby's.
J  and B( blank looks)
M: The man Arby its his Arby's.
J and B: ( silence)
M: I mean its so old its like its his personal Arby's.
B: yea another one has that same sign....


Hey remember that one time when we went into Skyline and said we had a party of ten....ordered drinks and made a big scene getting situated....then had to leave???
-yea the whole west side remembers that one.

Finga pappit

Where did you get your hair cut?

The king's chamba

Forever Alone...

Today's Episode features the one and only J:

Upon driving home last night this is the conversation we had...about relationships


M: you need to find someone needy like a child...

J: Um no...that's not going to work. I'd be annoyed as F**K

M: Ok, then you need someone as independent as you are

J: I want someone to take care of me...I just don't know how to let them...

( Dramatic Pause)

J : Beneath this icy exterior, there is a closeted romantic.




( Just Kidding, J)

" im getting all three stooges up in here"

Tonight's episode:  I don't have any funny quotes from the evening...because the entire situation was hysterical/scary.  J and I decided it would be a good idea to visit the scariest dollar store in within the city limits. For starters it looked like it was ransacked...then we  quickly grabbed the few items that I was too cheap to buy at a regular grocery store and we booked it. Upon leaving this store, a maniac in a  silver car played chicken with us for a parking spot. J responded to this by screaming and proclaiming that it was grocery store or bust from now on for the much needed ice cream runs.


Moral of the story....if you go to a dollar store....you get what you pay for.  We survived.

Sharon says...

Today's episode features a gem from my mom.

" your feet are so little they feel like hands. You have weird little hand feet"


She also gave me an Abe Lincoln bookmark for Easter. How I love my crazy momma.

Beer and cupcakes

Update our dear readers....we just birthday rivaled another table in the bar. Three cheers for singing loudly and off key...one too many times. :) the journey continues!

Bakersfield

B talking about snapping her fingers in class

" I can't do it with my right hand. It sounds like I'm clapping. Listen ( snaps) it's like a clap...I guess I could use my left hand. It's quieter"

Cake Cake Cake Cake

Today's episode:

Today is a very special day. A day that we all have been waiting for. Its the big J's birthday!!!!!!!!!!!! So everyone out there in the blogosphere send good thoughts our way, and follow us. Leave a comment for J to read and help us to make this day special for her!

Ps. I will continue to chronicle the night's festivities as they continue. Be ready for drunken nonsense.

Jungle to Jungle

M: I remember when overalls were cool
B: I had a pair with whinnie the pooh on them...

M: I had a jean pair, and a brown corduroy pair with pooh on the front.
Roommie: I didn't wear overalls...I wore jumpers.  Highly unusual.

B: I also had vests....I wore one to the N*SYNC concert.....
B: ......it was white...and made of windbreaker material....

J: you were swishing weren't you?

Cake and Pickle Chips

Today's Episode:

M: " if it wasn't for the whole we like to have sex with dudes thing, we'd totally be lesbians"
J:  "we probably couldn't date."
M: Why?

J: "this is an unhealthy relationship."
M: (haha) " yea I'd make fun of your girlfriends"
J: " ...and I'd make fun of yours"


....oh our theoretical lesbian love lives....

luck o' the irish

Dear Readers,
Today I am here to offer to you a public safety announcement that is near and dear to my heart. It is an issue that is plaguing hundreds of men and women as we speak, and it is something that very few people have the courage to speak out about. You probably already know someone who is experiencing this pain, or has only just recently escaped this hell on earth. I'm talking about nursing school.  Nursing school has taken away my will to live, I cant hold a single conversation that doesn't contain some mention of blood, vomit, or sexual dysfunction.  Or poop....oh so much poop.

Dear, dear readers, if you know anyone who is young at heart and still possesses the spark to live, please don't let them take on this degree of degrees.  Thank you for your time and compassion.




ps. Papers suck....blogs are more fun.

- M ( procrastinator extraordinaire)

Sha Sha Catmoon

Hello again readers!

Today's Episode:  DISCLAIMER:  Our male readers may not appreciate today's post read at your own discretion...... Lathies, Today is a feature on the joy of texting. Some of the very best conversations happen long distance....

J: We're going to have to hug things out on Wednesday...big girl is feeling emotional
M: Im on day 90 of my period... I feel like I invented emotion

J: You did. You and your scarily powerful hormones
M: My uterus is pharaoh...

Goodnight Lathies! Have good college! ( a quote from M's  Greek grandmother)

Traumatatized

Today's episode:
 I have spent all day feeling inadequate at the hospital....watching procedures that were graphic even for me to handle. I got judged by more experienced nurses and all I have to say for myself is that I am tired. Too tired to be funny that's for sure...  So to make up of my severe humor intolerance  here is a list of some oldies but goodies:

M: ( sees a sign entitled " Decurtain  Lawn Services") But how will you cover your windows....
J: what?
M: ( pointing to the sign) But how will you cover your windows?
J: De Curtains?

M: but what about.....
J: De curtains, only de curtains.

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 Four year old:" her pees everywhere" ( say that one to yourself)

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Four year old: " Her likes dirt"

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B:  ( Upon watching little mermaid) " I don't know...I don't get it. I get depressed, I'm not following two eels anywhere. This has bad news written all over it"


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B: ( after judging M for drunkenly talking to a guy in a bar) Look at your life, look at your choices

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Ok my mind is like jello today...I cant think of anything else that we have said that was funny right now.

http://howdoiputthisgently.tumblr.com/post/45165965154



Quote from a doctor " you made the right choice becoming a nurse...being a doctor is a pain in the ass" ....made my day lol

This is diculous

A certain set of twins in our lives could not describe today any better. Sometimes class is really ridiculous ( or as they say it diculous). While sitting in class today

J: actively researching another paper for a different class

B: busy working on a resume

M: me? I'm too lazy to even plug in my laptop ....

Hopefully funnier times are ahead for us today.

Hamsters

Today's episode:
  Today is day one of our glorious blog. You awesome readers should know that this is a blog that is shared by three friends. The things we will be posting on here are the things that we feel would make us one seriously funny TV show.  Please live and laugh with us as we struggle our way through nursing school.

Conversation of the day:
M: It smells like a petstore out here....
J: There is a petstore right there.
M: ( pause) Hamsters.....



Recap from yesterday:

B: " You know how in Nightmare before Christmas that one guy takes out his brain?"
M: " Yea"

B: " That's how I feel today, I just want to take my brain out and massage it"
M: " That's gross"

B: " I just want to take my brain out and massage it"
M: " I get it"
B: " I just want to take my brain out and..."

M: " Massage it. I get it"

B: " soak it....or maybe scratch it. I don't know"


Typical post clinical conversation....keeping the dream real.